I'm not a girl,not yet a woman
by Marranian.Pattz
Summary: "You knew those saying about swans, the ones existing only in fairytales, the kind of sacred, god-blessed, and most gorgeous creatures with creamy feathers. I'd tell you, being a Swan, Bella was not a bit less than stunning."  It all started from day one.
1. Preface

**A.N. Chinese version of Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen. For a typical striving girl, Bella's life was like a hiker, just like everyone else. But during the process, what kind of obstacles would she need to face and overcome? I have to say, lots and lots. She'd been from popularity to a nobody. She'd laughed and she'd cried. But after all of their dramatic romance, would love find their way finally? We'll see.  
>Partially, this is a story that happened in my real to share it, perhaps.<br>Anyway, hope you enjoy it! :D**

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><p><strong>Preface<strong>

**I used to think  
>I had the answers to everything<br>But now I know  
>Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...<br>Feels like I'm caught in the middle  
>That's when I realize…<br>I'm not a girl, not yet a woman  
>All I need is time<br>A moment that is mine  
>While I'm in between<br>I'm not a girl  
>There is no need to protect me<br>Its time that I  
>Learn to face up to this on my own<br>I've seen so much more than you know now  
>So don't tell me to shut my eyes<br>I'm not a girl, not yet a woman  
>All I need is time<br>A moment that is mine  
>While I'm in between<br>I'm not a girl  
>But if you look at me closely<br>You will see it my eyes  
>This girl will always find<br>Her way  
>-I'm not a girl, not yet a womanBritney Spears<strong>

**Edward's POV**

**Someday in the future**

I woke up. Well, technically because I didn't bother to open my eyes.

Everything was silent despite the sound of in-and-out breathing. Of _people_. My head started to bother me, buzzing like an annoying animal. But I ignored that and sensed everything.

It was so soft; the sheet, the mattress, everything that was surrounding me.

Then, suddenly, I noticed that I had been sleeping in a really awkward position half naked with only my boxers on.

And that I wasn't the only person that was snuggling in the cover.

The person lying next to me smelt so good, strawberry. A very familiar smell that I wouldn't be likely to forget about.

I had no idea why, but somehow, strangely, I liked this, every part of it. And I didn't plan to let it go. I was too scared to open my eyes, though, because I was anxious that if I did so, everything would just slip away, like every other dreamy scene I had been in.

So, I stayed, just feeling the peace and happiness. Yeah, happiness.

I was also aware I was in a spooning position, protectively holding someone in my arms. And my instincts told me to hold on tighter. So I did.

Under the sheet, _the someone_ was clinging to snuggling with me, and the _someone _was so very warm.

Wanting more of it, I started to move my right hand up north, started from which I assumed was _her _waist. I skimmed across the skin of _her_ arm. It was smooth like silk under my finger prints. While I reached the shoulder I felt long strands of long, soft hair and subconsciously, I smoothed them out with my hand.

The memory of last night flooded back at that moment. A big smile spread across my face as I recalled every single thing. It was awesome. Fucking Fantastic.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. The one in my arms, the one lying right beside me.

She was so beautiful in the dim sunshine through the tear of curtain. Her even breath showed she was still fast asleep. I wondered if she was dreaming and I hoped it was a wonderful dream, a dream about us being happily together. She was wearing a T-shirt of mine. The one that I wore as I came in her room last night. It looked huge on her body form. But, it was just all so right.

Everything about her was cute. Her delicate eyebrow, her long eye lashes that touched her cheekbone as she slept, her pinky cheeks, her bridge of nose getting slightly marked by long time of glasses wearing, her thin and pouty pink lips… And I couldn't help myself to kiss her. Ever so gently, I did so. Once, twice, a third time.

She smiled. I didn't know if that was because she was awakened or it was just her having a sweet dream.

But as she was being happy, so was I. I couldn't wipe the grin on my face.

Just then, her eyelids fluttered, opening her eyes, I could see she was confused, just as I had been. Looking around, her eyes finally reached mine. Her wide brown eyes. As if it had been a reflex, she beamed a smile as she laid her eyes on me. A smile saying "I was the luckiest person on earth". I just knew it, because I knew if looked I into the mirror now, I could see the same thing. Easily, I lost into her.

Oh, my sleeping beauty. My angel. My love.

_My Bella._

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><p><strong>A.N. I know the preface used to be kind of, okay not kind of, but dead serious. :P<strong>

**So I just rewrote it. Hope you would like this.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Love, May**


	2. Chap1 Very First Day

**A/N.**** So here comes Chap.1. The style is completely different from the preface.  
><strong>**First day in OMHF, where their dreams began.  
><strong>**Enjoy! :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter1<strong>

**For whatever reason  
>I feel like I've been wanting you all my life<br>You don't understand  
>I'm so glad we're at the same place<br>At the same time**

**-Boys Britney Spears**

**Bella POV**

**31st, Aug. 2005**

**6:15 a.m.**

"Ring, ring, ring…" The alarm went off for attention. Loudly.

For a long summer holiday, first thing I got used to dealing with those sounds had been shut them down immediately, snuggled into my warming comforter and continued my untroubled sleeping hours. It was starting to become one of my conditioned reflexes. Today, however, nothing like those happened. And, you know what, I was all so glad that the alarm woke me up.

My still semi-conscious inner mind shouted with excitement the second she heard the ringing as she shook and yelled at herself to complete somber: "Hooray! First day ever in middle school! I'm so expected for everything! Wakie, wakie!"

In a thud, I sat straight up in bed, rushed to the bathroom and freshened up myself. I did everything I can, well, anything that wasn't against the school rules to be more exact, to make myself look better.

Looking into the mirror, I saw a girl wearing a brand new set of uniform, which kinda looks like a sportswear, with a pure white polo shirt and a pair of long, blue training pants. Other than the fact that both of them were quite loose, like far too big for her to wear, she looked great. Having a highly-tied ponytail and a huge smile spreading across her face for the excited day, the only word that could suit her had to be "confident".

"Bella," she talked to herself encouragingly, without realizing she actually said them out loud, "keep fighting. Believe in yourself no matter what." If it was possible, her smile grew even wider than it had been. The girl in the mirror was so positive that tomorrow would be better, and she surely believed she would never trust a dim of the word 'destiny'.

With a straight A's grades and the great job I had done in primary school, I passed the entrance test of Olympic Middle School of HF which is really a hard task. I knew there would be more obstacles once I stepped into middle school, and I was also aware of the challenges that I would have to face in OMHF exceptionally.

Having such a great mood, which rarely happened in the morning, for the fact that I wasn't a morning person, I walked back into my room, softly humming while getting my backpack prepared. I held the yellowish memo, which listed down all the stuffs I needed with a left hand, and put all of those necessities into my Jansport backpack. Stopping my humming, I muttered the words on the memo absentmindedly, "Purse (Student ID)…Stationary…Note books...Well, uh…all done." There wasn't much to carry, but in consideration of my terrible faculty of memory, I was definitely smart enough to have everything I had to bring with listed down yesterday.

My essentials for the dorm had been well packed already. The luggage contained everything I needed. Translation: it couldn't be so different from moving for an entire family since the things I brought with could easily overweigh I myself.

I walked out from the bathroom hurriedly, seeing mom in the kitchen. She was wearing a sky blue ruffle neck sheath dress which ended just at her knees, her brown curly hair hanging from her shoulders. She looked so young, so happy, seemingly obsessed with what she was doing, perhaps making my breakfast.

"Morning, mom." I greeted causally.

Turning around, mom smiled as she saw me. "Oh, morning, honey. How was your night?"

"Good."

"Wow, look at you, you're pretty enough even in that dull and plain uniform of yours. By the way, I already packed up your breakfast. Here."

"Uh, thanks mom. And, well, you don't look so bad yourself. The dress looks good on you."

"Really…I…"

I knew exactly that mom would be mom. And if I didn't make her stop right now, she would simply mumble endlessly. Since I had no interests on where or when, or any dramatic stories according to her costume, I cut her down. "Mom, actually, if you don't mind, I want to get to school earlier since it's the first day. I'm sure the parking lot of the campus would be crowded if we get there too late."

"Oh, sure thing, honey. Charles~ Chop, chop! What are you pottering about?"

"Coming…"

As I grabbed my breakfast on the cabinet, a sandwich, a bottle of milk and a small apple, dad walked out from his room while tidying the last button of his button-down T-shirt. In his casual wearing, anything common except his formal uniform, usually jeans and T-shirt of all kind, he looked good. I mean good, like handsome enough for the man his age. And I could figure out why my mom would have such a crush on him first time she saw him on the campus of SCNU as a freshman student.

"Morning ladies." He said as he bent down to get his shoes on, never wasting a beat.

"Morning dad." I greeted politely, feeling a little bit underdressed in between my parents.

"So, uh, you ready?" He asked.

Swinging the bag of breakfast in my hand, I answered, "yeah."

"Get going, get going!" Mom squirmed like a kid being invited to a circus the first time. She pushed dad and I out of the door just as dad got my belongings on both of his hand.

We and went to the garage by the elevator. "Bells, you want me to drive you with my car or your mom's…?"Dad asked. "Definitely with mom's." Like he even need to ask.

My dad Charlie, chief of the police bureau, owned an eye-catching cruiser. It wasn't like that I was ashamed of his work, not at all; I thought it was really a cool thing to work for as a matter of fact, but who would ever want to scare the other away with a cruiser?

"Alright, kid."

The three of us ended up sitting in my mom's white TOYOTA. Well, actually, should be their white TOYOTA, since dad bought it on their ten-year wedding anniversary. It was more like a present for both of them.

Mom started her harmless nagging once we were inside the track. Or had she ever stopped since we left home? Well, I guessed it was only me that wasn't paying close attention, then. I supposed I had gotten used to this side of her.

My mom Renee was an adult-like kid, or a kid-like adult. She had the body of a grown woman, but she never seemed to grow up since high school. She had been a housewife since I was in fifth grade. Sometimes she would be a tutor for some young kids during the weekends, continuing her career as a teacher,but it was just on and off. With mom, I was always the one to take care of the both of us, you could say I'm "the motherly one", and mom was the kid. It had been like a kind of role reversal for some time.

I started my tasty breakfast as dad driving steadily and mom speaking endlessly.

"…finally going to middle school, I'm so happy for you, honey…You know how proud your father and I have always been for you, right? Are you excited for today, well, I'm sure I am myself. Why don't you say anything? Or perhaps you're too anxious to say anything? Oh, first day, of course you would be anxious… Don't be. You know we would always be supportive of you, no matter what…Well I was really anxious the first day I was in my university. I remembered even being nauseating for days before the term started. But you know what; I have no need to be worried of anything. I met Charles after minutes I stepped into the campus. He was a sophomore there and he was so nice. He helped me to find the teaching building, show me everything around. He even offered to contact him somehow. Both of us didn't own a cell phone at the time being, so he told me where his dorm room was and asked me to ask for his help if I needed…"

Dad coughed uneasily, glancing at the rear-view mirror as if he was shy.

No offense, but I thought the time for nagging should be over. "Mom, you know what, I think I need some time on my own. So don't talk like you don't even need oxygen to breathe in and calm down. I'm fine; I'm not so worried about myself. So don't you worried about me."

"Okay, okay, honey. I'll leave you some space to think, alright…"

Ooh, thank god for that. Though I seriously doubted how long it would last for. I kept them for myself, mumbling a soft "Thanks".

With the rare time of being alone, I imagined what my first day would be like. I would settle everything down in the dorm, which would absolutely be a disaster. I would choose the upper level of the bunk bed we would be sleep on if I could. I would meet my roommates, my new classmates and teachers. I would spend days talking with them and making friends with them. I would get my new schedule for classes and know which day would be shitty for me, and which would be really pleasant. I would have a ceremony for the beginning of the school year, which could have been so boring that I would choose the last line in the audience and toyed with my new cell phone. I would be sitting in the classroom, probably daydreaming about my future life in OMHF. I would have my first study hall session for three hours probably doing some preparation of the new lessons before class. I would…

"Bella, honey…?" Someone called me.

"Bells…?" Another person called.

What the …"Yeah?" I answered impatiently, annoyed because someone ruined my world of fantasy.

"Oh, honey, you were miles away aren't you?" Mom asked, concerned

"Yeah, I was thinking about… something." And you disturbed _something._

"We just wanted to remind you, we are here."

"We are? Wow, that's fast enough." Surprise evident in my voice.

"Ah, actually, the traffic was messed up and we didn't get here within an entire hour. You were just deep in thoughts that you didn't notice the time that has passed." Dad said, turned to face me just as mom did.

"Probably so."

"Are you ready, then? For school?" How many times I would have to answer this?

"Yeah, sure." And, by this time, I was really sure myself.

With that, I stepped out of the car, carrying my backpack with a single shoulder, put up my head and faced the main school gate. Our school gate.

-**(~_~)**-

**8:00a.m.**

My parents helped me with my loads of luggage. By the time everything was moved into my new dorm room on the 3rd floor, we were all breathing heavily.

"Dad, mom, I'm able to handle the… stuffs from now on, it's already eight and yet you haven't had you breakfast. I think you should go eat and leave myself to set everything in order." I said.

"But, honey, at least let us do some cleaning first, the dorm is too dusty for human beings to stay in." Mom said as she glanced around at the dusty ground and windows reprovingly.

"Alright… Well, you can leave some to me so, um, maybe for a short while?"

"Okay."

My parents left right before my first roommates showed up.

I was beyond tired like I had just finished a 400-metre-race, but I wiped the sweat on my forehead with my left hand and welcomed her. "Hey, uh, I'm Isabella Swan, you can call me Bella." I was hoping to make a friend with her, the first girl friend in middle school.

The girl looked up from her long lashes, smiled at me brightly like kids going into a candy shop first time in life. She danced around happily, jumping like Tigger in the cartoon. "I'm Alice, Alice Brandon. So glad to meet you here. Maybe you could be my friend?" She beamed with her high pitched voice. It was as if she was singing (or squirming) while she talked.

She was such a Lolita. Her face looked like it belonged to a China doll, and it was so cute. Her eyes were big with dark brown irises. Short dark hair, smooth and shiny, wrapped around her tiny head; like a mushroom, specifically a delicate one, even though there were no further complex decoration or anything like that. Her form was tiny, too. It was like she was only a kid, no older then fourth grade.

After that, we didn't talk much, since we were both occupying with the loads of necessities we brought. Everything was quiet, but pleasant, before the next girl arrived.

"Boom!"

I cringed slightly at the sound and turned to look at the source of it. It was the sound of the suitcases dropped down onto the ground. Like mine, those stuffs sound really, really heavy. Clearly, it claimed the arrival of another girl here.

While I was still trying to gave it a respond, any respond at all, like a turn around, a wave, or a "hi", as to being friendly. Yet even before I got the chance to react, Alice had already started being all "Alice-like". And I wondered briefly how she could be so energetic when she settled everything down. Not that I'm against her or something. Just that, I was already kind of exhausted at the time.

"Hey, beautiful! I'm Alice, Alice Brandon. So are you gonna live in 1312 with us?" Oh, not you too, Alice. Just like mom, she could talk without breathing. And at the moment I finally reacted to turn around, I saw her gesture at me.

"Uh, no?" The girl rolled her eyes and deadpanned, but I could see she was just kidding.

"Oh, so you got to the wrong dorm? Can I help you with anything?" Apparently Alice didn't think the same way I did. Well, the new girl and I did.

"No, thank you. I'm Rosalie Hale. Don't want to bug around but I'm sure I got the dorm Num. right." She said, seemed kind of smug, surly amused by Alice, whom, dropped her chin open like an "O", stilled right then and there and couldn't figure a syllable out for moment. It was as if I heard the "click" inside her head.

I laughed silently as I saw all this happening. Lowered my head, I disguised the smirk on my face, not wanting to make Alice more uncomfortable in any way. Holding my head up, I waved at Rose's direction causally and said, "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. Call me Bella."

"Nice to meet you Bella."

"It's my pleasure, Rosalie."

"Well, it's just Rose."

"Okay."

Rose had a model like appearance. She definitely could have a part-time job as a model once she crossed the age limit of work. She had straight and shiny long dark hair which she tossed up into a delicate ponytail. Her face was gorgeous, too. Coffe brown eyes, delicate eye brows and such a mature smile. She had curves that make every girl jealous, and her leg was so skinny, so was her arms. Just… perfect, a beauty and a hottie. I bet she would be the Queen Bee in our class, and attracting most of the guys.

"Well, well, isn't our little Alice cute?" Rose said smugly as if it wasn't bad her head back and forth, tried to snap herself back to reality.

"How can you…How come I ever believed you while you just…Dammit! And Bella, you didn't even remind me or anything? I thought we were friends…"Alice said in a fake mournful, yet truly regretful voice as she pouted like a five-year-old.

"It wasn't my fault since you never heard about pranks or deadpans." Rose said coolly.

"And I thought you had a brain even though you look tiny." I added harmlessly, making fun of her, playing along. Rose and I exchanged a gesture and harmoniously did a high-five.

"But…"Alice started to protest and just so I knew, it would be endless.

So, here we were. I knew that although there would always be quarrels like this because Alice would be Alice, and Rose would be Rose, and I would either choose to stand for one of them or to make peace as being Switzerland, we would stick together since day one in middle school. Would our friendship strong enough to overcome any obstacle we were going to face in the future? I really wondered in my inner heart. And I crossed my heart to wish that the answer could be confirming. Because this was us, and we were just happy being together.

Later on, the rest of our roommates, another two girls arrived, and we did the same self-introduction as before, but the strong connection among the three of us was no where to be found once more. It was weird, and I was clear myself. How could we possibly feel the connection before staying close together for long and getting to know each other? I had no idea.

As the three of us finished our unpacking and everything else by ourselves, and cleaned our lovely dorm into somewhere that we thought good enough to sleep in, we left the dorm. Lingering around the campus for a little while, we were ready for the check in and headed to our new classroom, meanwhile never stopped chatting random things like favorites', past or boys, or what-so-ever girlie talks included on our way. It was as if we'd already known each other since our life had begun. Well, somehow, I felt that today was the first day of my new life.

-**(~_~)**-

**10:00a.m.**

We finally got to the classroom where had been a total mess. Even till then, not everyone had been to the classroom.

I was kind of nervous, just as mom supposed I would be. Even though I'd tried my best to calm myself down, there was no use of it. That was just typical Swan, a shy Bella in front of crowds of people. Rose held up her chin as the class visibly sighed in jealous while they took her features in. She held me close by my arm while I was getting more and more anxious as time went by. She kept mumbling random things in my ears and jumped from time to time as dynamic she had always been.

We walked to the table by which a teacher, whom I assumed would be my class teacher, was busy dealing with piles of files, handing out forms of student documents to new comers.

As she noticed us, she looked up and said with a smile, "You're students in this class, right? Um, take these." She gave us three forms which we needed to fill in, and continued, "I would be your class teacher, I'm Grace Moore. What are your names?"

"Hello, Mrs. Moore, my name's Alice Brandon. This is Rosalie Hale and this is Isabella Swan."Alice gestured Rose and me in order. Being Alice, she needed no time to rest. We'd just been together for a little longer than an hour, but I was indeed sure about that.

"Great thing you've been friends first day here. It was nice to have someone to accompany with." Mrs. Moore nodded in encouragement, "So, you three fill up that form, and you are formally registered in OMHF, alright? Just take a random seat that suits yourselves today, the arrangement of seat would be done after a week when I know all of the students better."

"Okay. Mrs. Moore." We said in reunion and nodded.

Grinning, we walked through desks until we reached the second line and Rose tugged my shirt and gestured me to sit down next to her. Alice choose at the seat in front of me where her desk mate was still empty air. We started to get ourselves occupied with the forms while the other students filing in continuously. I forgot about the surroundings and focused on the form right on my desk.

At some point, Alice turned around and waving her hands before my eyes to gain my attention. Meanwhile, she knocked on Rose's desk and whispered at us, "Look at them."

Snapping our heads up, we saw three gorgeous boys entering the classroom.

One of them was huge and strong. He had short, natural curly black hair. The cutest thing was he had a pair of dimples. He was laughing with the other two of them and looked extremely relaxed as if he was having a holiday instead of school.

Another boy had curly golden hair that barely reached his neck. Through distance, I couldn't help but noticed his eyes were baby blue, which I found really pretty. He had a sharp cheekbone and chin. And his skin, pale. Not ghostly, but, the color's even lighter than mine, eventhough my skin had a color pale enough to be a little transparent here and there, and that my mom usually joked that I had leukemia. I assumed he was a white. _Wow, interesting, foreign student._ I thought myself. I wondered where he came from.

But then, my attention was brought to the last boy. Clearly, he was the most attractive boy of all three. He's hair was dark and it was kind of messed up. But I really, really like it and it was hot as hell. His irises were dark and it was like I could see his intelligence and many other things about him right through them, even though I'd never seen him before. His eyelashes were incredibly long and curly. His features are sharp, and his jaw was a smooth and compatible line. His form was lean, but also muscular somehow. All in all, his appearance was…perfect, I couldn't find another word to describe.

I stared at him with amazement for some time, suddenly realized it was impolite to do so. But my eyes were glued to him, as if he was my personal magnet, just like the lyrics "Can't take my eyes off of you." As I was about to look away, he looked straight at my direction and saw right into my eyes. I sucked in a deep breath involuntarily. There were so many feelings flashed in his gaze though I didn't recognize all of them. But I knew for sure, there had been amazement, too.

Right then, even though I still had no idea who he was, or what his name was or any detail of him, I just knew that I'd been waiting and wanting for his showing in my life, I just knew he would be a really important person to me.

All of a sudden, I saw him smile at me. It was a crooked smile which was so hot that it made me melted inside. And I was glad that we're at the same place, at the same time. I could swear to god, even though I would never ever admit it to anyone, not even Rose or Alice, I had a crush on the name-still-unknown boy.

I did the most common thing the other people on earth would have done. I smiled back.

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><p><strong>A.N. So, uh, how do you like the story? Any ideas?<strong>  
><strong>ThanQ for reading.<strong>  
><strong>Next Chapter would be on in a few days.<strong>

**Love, May**


	3. Chap2 Her Pour of Tears

**A.N.**** Okay, probably it was longer than**_** a few**_** days. ****I sincerely a****pologize for that… ****No matter what****, here comes Chap.2. **

**The first period for freshman students are innocent but sweet. In China, middle school starts with much a higher level than primary school where there're suppose to be a terrifying load of homework, and students already start to separate themselves into small different groups.**

**Enjoy**** your reading! :D**

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong>**2**

**She wants a good time  
>No need to rewind<br>She needs to really really find what she wants  
>She lands on both feet<br>Won't take a back seat  
>There's a brave new girl<br>And she's comin' out tonight  
>She's gonna step outside<br>Uncover her eyes  
>Who knew she could feel so alive<br>Her M.O.'s changed  
>She don't wanna behave<br>Ain't it good to be a brave girl tonight  
>Tonight, it's alright<br>A brave girl tonight**

**-Brave new girl Britney Spears**

**The first semester**

**Alice POV**

Those three boys were _glorious_. That was the initial word that popped into my brain when they stepped inside the classroom door.

After I knocked on Bella and Rose's desks and mumbled the "Look at them" in awe, I stared right back at them.

Suddenly I realized that there was a pretty familiar face. Holy shit! Wasn't that Edward Cullen?

Edward was the older brother of my childhood friend Bree. I used to play over at their place periodically when I was only a kid. I randomly tapped at my temple and knitted my brows. Umm, around second grade, if I didn't have it wrong.

I shook my head slightly and raised my sight to _check him out_. Well, I meant, don't get me wrong, I was just comparing him with the boy in my memory. He was certainly…different. While we were little, he was nothing but cute and playful; but in his adolescent, he was honestly kinda hot. Lean and tall, he got a pretty good figure. And his facial features changed, too, in a good way. He was so different, and if it wasn't for his messy "hay-stack-hair" as I always called it, I wouldn't have identified him.

_Alic__e__. _The inner me raised an eyebrow at me and scolded. _You had a form to fill out. So stop your endless daydreaming._

Alright, alright…I surrendered and retorted back.

At the exact moment I gave up my continuingly comparison, the other two guys around him caught my eyes.

Well, one of them got my attention, only because he was huge, like stalwart. His mom must have been over feeding him when he was a baby; or, since he was a baby in that case.

But, the way he caught my eyes was not even one tenth of worth comparing to the other guy who's standing beside him. That boy made my heart fluttered like a hummingbird with nothing but his appearance.

He was slender, of average height, which meant much taller then me anyway. His hair was slightly curled with a blonde color. As I tried to get a formal look at his eyes, I could practically feel, and hear, the blood racing in my veins all over my body, accessing right into my heart. It was like Usain Bolt's record breaking running, faster than I had ever experienced before.

His eyes were the color of the sky, azure. It was as if I could see through him, into his soul; and I felt myself drowning, into a boundless ocean, even though I was still sitting in a classroom with students here and there.

Innie emphasized, picking my favorite yellowish sharpie, and wrote down a mental note. _Ask him out some day in the future._ Well, this must be some frequent circumstances when we had a common idea. Let's just hope that future would be _close_. I said back to her cheerfully.

At that exceedingly accurate second, Rosalie ran through my mind like a fucking mind-reader.

"Why? He's just a plain White. It was impossible to track him down a dull London street. I think that huge guy looks cute, though. Just look at all those muscles wrapping around his figure. The others are, well, let's just say not shiny around him. Hey, what's the point checking them out anyway. Isn't there a line saying 'Beauty is only skin deep'?"

Surprised, not at her comment of liking and disliking, but…

I turned around and looked straight at her eyes, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, would you pleeeease tell me how you could know what I was thinking about? And, don't perfunctorily tell me you fathom it all by yourself, ice queen."

"What? You said that out loud you yourself." She stated innocently. I bet her ass she was fighting her fate just trying not to twitch the corner of her mouth.

Uh, wait, I did? And just like that, it was my time to be awkward.

Trying to distract her from my embarrassment, I turned to Bella. She was checking out those guys, too.

Wait, no, not exactly, that would be such an understatement. She was staring, not even bothered to blink her eyes. As I looked at the direction she was ogling at, I saw no one but Edward.

"Wooohh… Back to earth, Bella! Tell me you haven't got a crush on Edward already."

Slowly， she sank back to reality from miles away.

"What now, pixie?" She snapped, fairly impatiently I should say.

Innie counted down herself, unflustered. Three. Two. One. Click!

"Wait, you know him?" Bella watched me with wide eyes, her brows went flew, straight up to the ceiling.

Ha-ha, got you! Innie clapped her hands merrily in the back of my head. A wide smile spread instantly across my face.

"Yep, _unfortunately_ so. That's Edward." I said smugly. _"He and I go way back…_" I added in nothing more than a mystery whisper. And Bella looked at me dubiously with define disheartenment.

"Oh, relax, Bella… We're no more special than two old friends." I added for her sanity. "And why do you even care so much?" I coughed intentionally.

I briefly glanced at Edward, who was suddenly very interesting in Mrs. Moore's words. Keeping my devil smiling, I added. "Do me a favor, will you? Don't ogle at him like that, for the sake that we had been childhood buddy who shamelessly played housing together."

"Who was ogling at him?" She muttered under her breath shyly, a hint of rose colored her cheeks.

"Bellaaaa's blushing…" I said with a singing voice, making sure it was low enough that only the three of us could hear.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered again, rolling her eyes like she didn't even care. However, what she didn't acknowledge was that her gradually crimsoning face was betraying her on and on.

"Uh, Bella. You could save your money to buy anything but blusher for make-ups, just call Alice next time." Rosalie said with a faking serious expression. We laughed together as Bella buried her face deeper in her hands and let out a groan.

I didn't notice the boys were walking towards us while nudging one another playfully until they were within reaching capability. As Edward took all my features in, it was like he suddenly progressed in linking it with his memories of our early days. He shushed those boys behind him and took one step forward, his eyes wide with recognition and surprise.

"Ali?" He called me by my nick name in an uncertain whisper. It wasn't that difficult to figure out whose honor it was naming it in the first place.

"Hey, Eddieeeeeeee! Long time no see!" I smirked as I caught him off guard with utter surprise.

He threw me a crooked smile of which I assumed was one of his new discoveries. "Indeed. Good to see you here. What a small world!" He said with sincerity in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. So…" I dragged Bella up with my full strength, who was now_ focusing _on the form, unwilling to look up for god knows what reasons; and Rose, who skeptically ignore Edward by peeking at his new huge friend. "Edward, Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale. Bella, Rosalie, this is Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you both." Edward said, formally and courteously like a British gentleman.

"Me, too." Bella said, pretended to act normal and outgoing. Again, her blush gave her away. Oh, please, it was just Edward. What's the big deal? I was too blind to see.

"Well, as for me…" Rose said with her elegant disposition, holding her chin up to meet Edward's eyes, seemingly untouched by everything. "…am waiting for you to introduce your new friends."

Me, too! Innie shouted both excitedly and frustrated.

Edward seemed like he totally forgot about them. He lightly knocked his head with his knuckles regretfully. "I apologize for being so… um, rude." Gesturing them in order, he said, "Emmett McCarty, Jasper Whitlock."

A bear-like sound boomed, "Hey, beauties." It didn't take a genius to remember his voice. It was quite impressive. He winked his eyes at us. Well, at Rose to be complete honest.

Jasper elbowed him gently, grimacing as if he was telling kid manners. Turning to look at us, he spoke with a Western accent, tender yet attractive. "I'm Jasper. I grew up in the United State but I was a half-blood, my dad was a Chinese, and my mom's an American. I'm interested in Chinese culture so I've been self-studying Chinese since primary school. I hope we can be friends." He then looked straight into my eyes, his shallow blue eyes smiling at me, twinkling in sunlight like gemstone. And I was all in a sudden intoxicated.

I broke from the eye-contact abruptly, clearing my head and blinking my eyes furiously. _Alice, focus! Keep your abnormal self._ She told me in calm. In all those emerge circumstances, it was always her keeping me sane and acted like the right Alice.

Slightly, I cleared my throat, hoping that I could speak distinctly after all these fantasies of the new boy, of…Jasper; and that not _everyone_ would notice my irregularity.

"Um, sure thing. I'd like to be friends with you." Once I said that out loud, I regretted immediately. Innie was so disappointed in me that she slapped me in my face right then.

My words came in a tight and weird voice. It was so uncommon that Edward raised his eye brow and that Bella and Rose stared at me like I totally lost my mind. While Emmett broke into a hysterical laughter and Jasper couldn't help but chuckled along.

I swore to god I had never ever felt this embarrassed before. I craved that there could have been a crack on the ground, and I would sneak into it and hind up without a second thought, or a second of thinking.

I swallowed hard and looked everywhere but my new group of _friends._

Most gratefully, Mrs. Moore saved my life by asking us to sit down in a random seat nearby and gaining our attention to the blackboard.

My _very_ good _friend_ potentially pushed Jasper to sit next to me, to my greatest uncomfor... Okay, honestly I had no problem with this. I meant I kinda like the idea.

_Alice, __be the super chatter you and I both know you are. Talk to him, anything!_ Innie ordered again. Still with an unfazed facade_._

I tried my best to focus on the still blank form, on Mrs. Moore, but my hands were shaky and I just couldn't concentrate on either of them.

To avoid staring blankly at the boy who's now sitting next to me, I turned my very attention to my designed pencil-case, to see how these geometric figures-the points, lines and polygons-combined together. I continued to stare at them until they got mixed up, and turned into various kinds of objects. I finally gave up with a frustrated sigh.

I fished out the bottle of mineral water from my handbag, swallowed a mouthful of it with my eyes tight shut. As the cool water flowing down my throat, I realized how thirsty I had been._ No wonder my throat felt tight._ I comforted myself, feeling better about the stress, and getting far more relaxed; which was a definitely a pretty good sign.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and drew in the brightness. I started to focus on things I should have been focusing a long time ago. Yet, not very long after that, I was very self-conscious of the fact that Jasper was glancing in my direction with a weird, mixed-up expression. Curiosity? Nervousness? And, Jesus was that adoration?

_I __sincerely hope it was._ She said with mild comments. Innie, shut up before I lost all my effort yet all again! I shouted to her.

Before I could confirm anything it was all gone, he looked away. And I swore to god I saw him swallowed once, his premature Adam's apple bobbed lightly.

There was a sober part of me figured that he probably needed more time than us on finishing the form since his native language was English. So I urged myself to tie up my tongue and leave him alone.

Although, I added, I really wouldn't mind if he asked me to help fill out the form for him.

At the same time, I listened to Mrs. Moore, who's listing down a number of matters-needing-attention.

I had none ideas of how long it took but I finished my form ultimately and handed it to Mrs. Moore in person. Looking around, I found the majority of students were gone by the time being, except our small pack.

When I came back to from Mrs. Moore, Jasper was still working on the rest of the blanks as I expected.

I decided I could take the very first step. And I figured it would be natural to ask him whether he needed help.

I generously offered to help after some battles between me and Innie about whether or not I was capable of talking to him calmly, and the pros and cons of it. "So, uh, can I help you with anything? The form?" I asked as I sank back into the chair where I could be closer to him, both physically and mentally.

"Uh, well, yes actually, there is one. Do you know what does this mean?" He pointed to the very complex characters and turned towards me.

I glanced down and explained, "It means native place, the place of one's origin, you know."

"Oh, yeah, I guess…. Well, then, how accurate I have to, you know, record? To country? State? City? Or what?"

"Um, as for you, I think it would be good to stop at city. It was accurate enough."

"Okay…There, all done! Finally!"

He stood up and stretched his arms like the form was pure torture to him. Taking one step towards the platform, he abruptly stopped and turned to face me before he could move further onto a next.

"Alice…" My name sounded so perfect with his hot accent. Smooth, and just all so right. I could hardly concentrate on his words and responded.

I knew that in part of China, people call each other by their full name, but it didn't work the same with me.

As a matter of fact, I had been calling as well as being called by the others by first name since kindergarten. There was no denying that I was naturally welcomed in any groups I had been in. I had been a cute baby girl and easily wrapped everyone around my little finger. As I grew up, I was always one of the popularity in class because I was smart and intimate. I wouldn't expect less in middle school.

Yet, it was really a once in my life time experience that I had ever heard someone called me like this. This just felt so right, so appropriate. This was certainly, something.

"Yeah?" I said weakly, barely a whisper.

"Thank you." He smiled his flawless smile and turned away.

I hadn't recovered from my Jasper Wonderland, but Innie whispered a "Welcome" automatically that no one other than myself was able to hear.

-**(~_~)**-

**Bella**** POV**

Edward and Emmett had already finished their forms and were now in between a deep discussion. They laughed in union from time to time. Alice was in between her dazzle about Jasper, who was now chatting with Mrs. Moore pleasantly. Rose and I were sharing an IPod, listening to a list of mild love songs, which was now playing_ All Out of Love_. A colorful fashion magazine with costumes only proper for models and movie stars spread flatly on her desk, almost covering the whole of it.

I, on the very contrary, was holding a copy of _Sense and Sensibility_ in hand. I was utterly surprised, yet a bit frustrated when I realized after a while that the hero of this book was also named Edward; which brought me back to the boy who was sitting on my right, across the passageway.

Seriously, I was acting so weird today. I judged myself mentally. Never once in my life had a boy caught my eye like he did.

Everything about him fascinated me-his voice, his face, even his smell. God he smelt good. Even with the half a meter distance between us, I could practically recognize his special aroma.

In addition to all that, that hot, crooked smile of him? He was certainly going to be the death of me!

"Guys, what do you say about grabbing lunch together later? We can use it a chance to get to know each other." Alice asked enthusiastically. She spoke with a volume great enough to catch our attention, yet the others in the room wouldn't.

Edward broke from whatever discussion he'd been having with Emmett. "Sure thing, but I suppose we have to eat inside out school, do we? Mrs. Moore mentioned that earlier."

"Yeah, we aren't allowed to leave the campus until weekend since we are all boarders…?" I ended with an interrogative tone, suggested the boys to greet us with an answer.

"Cut me out. I'm a non-resident." Emmett said, his voice sounding like a grizzly bear, with define regret. "If I had ever thought of having you guys as my intimates in such an early stage in the class, I would never forget about the deadline of dorm application! Hell, my after class could have been mag-fucking-nificent!"

"Woo, woo… Watch out your mouth, Emmett! Your mom would not be _so_ proud of you for that. " Rose teased him. "Now, com'on Em, you know that your mom wouldn't mind if you miss her lovely lunch home, now would she?"

"Alright, alright…I'll come." Emmett surrendered; it won't be overall to say that he agreed only to have a chance to have lunch with Rose.

"Well, I'm in..." Rose stated curtly.

"Oh, Emmett, stop fist-pumping the air like the champion of a war among grizzly bears." Edward elbowed him teasingly, and stated. "I'm in, too."

"So, now. Bella? Jasper? What about you two?" Alice asked, more impatiently and hurriedly than necessary.

"I'd love to." I simply said.

"Me too." Jasper walked towards us after just breaking the conversation with Mrs. Moore, couldn't help but smile at the wonderful idea.

"What are we waiting for, then? Get going, get going!" Alice hushed us vigorously, just like Alice should be.

-**(~_~)**-

**A month after the first day**

**Study Hall at night**

The surroundings could not be called quiet. It was as if everyone around us was twittering on about different things. If Mrs. Moore came in and saw all this, she would definitely give us yet another speech about self-discipline.

On this state, I was pretty sure that I had a crush on you-the boy who caught my eyes on day one. You were practically sitting beside me. Emmett, who was seated across the passageway on my right after the two weeks ago when Mrs. Moore gave out our new sitting arrangement, was now back at home since he was a non-resident and didn't need to attend the Study Hall. And you, coincidently, happened to be his desk mate. So, honestly, no one was standing between us.

You were doing some practice of Math, which I found a little bit hard to understand these days. Knowing you, you would focus for the first period and started to act like a naughty boy during the second.

In the second period, like a daily routine, we would find something to chat, just like what everyone else in the room was doing. Sometimes we would discuss about some problems in exercises that either of us couldn't find a clue to solve. Sometimes we would just talk, and daydreaming about our dreams and future hood; or doing those psychological tests on lists of likes and dislikes. Anything involved you was something I wanted to try, whether it was new to me, or ancient.

I knew I had been a really shy girl in your view, because I used my shyness as my façade, to hide my adoration to you. I supposed you would get immune to be crushed on anyway.

You were intelligent, a great kid in teachers mind; kinda idle I had to say if I was being completely honest, but still smart enough to catch up with the others who worked much harder than you do. You were sophisticated. You were also pretty good at sports because you could run fast enough. And you were so beautiful it would cause my heart ache.

I thought that you probably like me, too. Perhaps not as much as I did, you, but at least you'd got some feelings.

You liked talking to me in Study Hall, and only personally to me, no others. You liked messing with me when the six of us hung out together, out-door activities times, studying in the library or just simply having lunch.

And I thought that I had caught you once or twice in class while I was glancing in your way, you were doing exactly the same thing to me, too.

In the typical second period, you moved closer to me and sit on Emmett seat just like always. Opening you mouth hesitantly, you asked with your velvety yet low voice, only to prevent someone would hear us. Not that we were talking something quite private and couldn't face the world brightly. "Hey, Bella. Do you know how to make a paper-crane?"

"Yeah, sure. Why?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I was wondering if you could teach me how to do it."

"Uh, yeah…" I wanted to ask more, but you cut me off by sending a piece of square paper onto my desk. It was no bigger than the hollow of my palm, with a color of shallow blue.

I shook my head off of the thoughts flowing through my mind, and showed you what you should do instead, making my motions slow enough so that you could understand each step, and explaining everything by words at the same time.

Did you know that you were so cute when concentrating on those tiny things in your hands? Your fingers were lean but long, so handicraft like this wasn't something troublesome for you. At the very least, you were much better than the other boys.

I didn't even consider twice when you stopped and scratched your head, and I took you by the hand and taught you how to fold and make sure no awkward wrinkles were left. You were smart enough to understand and worked on and on smoothly after that.

There was electricity buzzing between when we were skin-to-skin, but neither of us said anything about it. Yet I couldn't ignore that feeling several minutes after the event.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah?" You didn't look up, working on the paper-crane which was now putty in your hands.

"Why are you trying to fold all those paper-crane?" _Were you making it for me?_ I didn't say it out loud.

"I was preparing a birthday gift, for…" You stopped a second, as if depending on whether to tell me or not. I waited patiently. "Well, for Alice. I got it all scheduled, one for each single day, and until she would have over a 300 for her birthday in... August."

My heart skipped a beat. Not in a good way, the way he usually made me feel whenever I saw him.

"Oh." I said simply, pretending to be unaffected. I didn't know if he was aware of it.

Do you…uh…like…her?" I asked cautiously, being careful not to express any trace of unnecessary dismay.

"Well…well…uh…yes, I guess?" He still didn't bother to snap up his head and looked at me. His voice full of uncertainty which made it sounded more like a question. But somehow it was the last thing on my mind, the word _yes_ was booming loudly like thunder crack in my ear_. _

"You do know that we had known each other in ages, right?" He added as if it could be a proper reason for it.

"Yeah…I guess I do." My voice was quiet, and it seemed somewhat husky and dry; I swallowed until I didn't know how many times I had been copying the exact motion. Yes, I did know, and I hated myself for not being able to be whatever Alice had been to you.

I didn't know what happened to me, all in a sudden my nose became sour, and I felt myself sniffling subconsciously; my brow tied together as if they were fighting with each other. The worst was, I felt like vomiting within seconds, horribly. So I clamped my right hand tight on my mouth and rushed out of the classroom from the back door without even a polite "Excuse me".

I ran with all I had, like a bullet shooting out from the patron, directly to the bathroom. It wasn't that easy to drag myself all the way to my destination, but somehow, I succeeded.

Once I got there, I crashed down onto the floor and started to cry my heart out without attention to anything around me.

Outside, unexpectedly, it started lightening and thundering, and I heard a torrential rain poured down as if blaming me for me stupidity for ever believing that perfect Edward Cullen would even put me on his busy mind; inside, correspondingly, "tickle, tickle" sound was clear in the quiet, lifeless room, pool of water inundated on the ground, nothing but my bitter tears.

How could you do this to me, Edward?

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.<strong>**Ohhhh, look at what Eddie had done…**

**So****… w****hat do you think?**

**Well, since I am busy with my tests**** and everything in handy****, the update would take some time.**

**Also, I'd like to know ****whose POV you would be like better****. And do you want the song list to include some Chinese elements? ****P****lease review~**

**Next would start by Edward****'s POV.**

**Love, May**


	4. Chap3 The Gymnasium

**A.N. Dun. Dun. Dun… There you go~**

**I know it's been a while but there's a hell lot of work for the new semester!**

**Before I get started, I want to inform you in China, students divided in different groups have a settled classroom. So the teachers of different subjects move from class to class instead of those students…**

**Anyway, as I've promised, Chap.3 comes with an Edward's POV.**

**And thank you for the supports, I just hope you could review some more~**

**Enjoy! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter3<strong>

**Calling out your name**  
><strong>Your face is everywhere<strong>  
><strong>I'm reaching out to you<strong>  
><strong>To find that you're not there<strong>  
><strong>I wake up every night<strong>  
><strong>To see the state I'm in<strong>  
><strong>It's like an endless fight<strong>  
><strong>I never seem to win<strong>  
><strong>I can't go on as long as I believe<strong>  
><strong>Can't let go when I keep wondering<strong>  
><strong>Where are you now, what have you found<strong>  
><strong>Where is your heart, when I'm not around<strong>  
><strong>Where are you now, you gotta let me know<strong>  
><strong>Oh baby, so I can let you go…<strong>  
><strong>-Where <strong>**Are ****You ****Now ****Britney ****Spears**

**Edward's POV**

**The same night**

It was surprising when an entire month passed, being unnoticed somehow. It was still fresh in my memory- The day when I first stepped into the simple-equipped, yet very much academic-like classroom, along with my fresh-made buddies; encountering Alice, who also happened to be my childhood friend, Rosalie, and with my greatest favor, _Bella __Swan_.

You knew those saying about swans, the ones existing only in fairytales, the kind of sacred, god-blessed, and most gorgeous creatures with snow-white feathers.

I'd tell you, being a _Swan_, Bella was not one bit less than stunning. It was just as if she walked right out of Anderson's stories, with the aurora of glorious. And despite the beauty from the outside, I found out pretty soon that she's also a smart and caring girl.

I knew it did sound quite exaggerating, but Bella-she really was one of a kind.

It was another one of my very felicities that our seats were actually pretty close to one another. During study hall when Emmett wasn't here, we practically closed the barely-there distance and simply stuck together, though not in an inappropriate way. And it wasn't like I'd never thought of it, either.

The head of smooth and natural wavy brunette hair of hers was loose about her shoulder, hanging like a curtain between us when she ducked her head writing. On one side I was totally obsessed with the brownish-fountain, they were surreal, and I could hardly keep my hands to myself-from grazing it adoringly; while on the other I hated them, because they unnecessarily stopped my way to gaze at her flawless skin-which had an ivory color, and had an obvious yet lovely contrast to her coffee-colored hair. Oh, and those wide, brown eyes. How obsessed I was with her eyes- those bright and intelligent orbs!

Did I mention before that she was the most beautiful girl that I'd come across?

To say I was fascinated could be an understatement. And it wasn't too overall unexpected that I'd been dreaming about her everyday since.

_Yeah, not overall you perv. You had quite an unrestrained imagination._

A voice rang from the back of my mind, scolding me. I rolled my eyes. I swore that my parents totally buried a deep root there for me, the seed of a very rational and well-mannered British gentleman.

My parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, were surely an open-minded couple, since they'd both been studied in the U.K. for seven years. They met each other on a holiday tour to London when they were still undergraduate student in Aston University and University of Birmingham. They kept in touch after the trip and met occasionally. After dating for a while, they acclaimed their love to each other and went down the aisle together almost as soon as they came back to China when they both received master degree.

Since then Carlisle worked as a surgeon of great eminence in a famous hospital in the city while Esme enrolled in a charitable institution, organizing huge charity events, raising funds for the disabled or the ones with serious illness. They were both very kind-hearted, and very sophisticated indeed. So they raised Bree and me with expectancy for us to be someone like that in the future, as well.

Bree was my twin sister, and although our births were only about ten minutes apart, she became my little sister perfectly justifiably.

Yet here I was, dreaming of varied things of Bella every night. Sometimes it was related with the talks we had for nearly half an hour each day; sometimes it was just her smile, or the two of us spending merry time together... But sometimes, I dreamt of her in an inappropriate way, a way that I would be so ashamed to look at my dad in the eye.

I was super aware that it was really kind of creepy of me to be like this, especially since it's only been a month. What could I say? That girl totally screwed me, and stole my heart away.

Accosting her in my life had been the most amazing things I'd ever been through.

-**(~_~)**-

It was such a pleasurable thing to watch when you were focusing on the colorful, shiny square pads, trying to perfect it as you puckered your brows a little. I didn't even have enough attention to spare as you gave the lucid explanations of every step.

When it didn't work out for me as it supposed to be after you taught as clearly, only because I diverted too much attention on you; you took me by the hand and taught me how to make those wrinkles go away.

I could actually feel the blood racing through my veins, the pumping sound of my heart, and the slowing down of everything at the exact moment. It was girly, I knew, but I couldn't really control how my body reacted to your touch. I was way too busy to deal with anything else, and I obviously didn't consider the emphasizing bumping had half a bearing on you.

"Hey, Edward?" You asked quietly as you watched me folding, your voice in a comforting whisper.

"Yeah?" I didn't dare to look up since I knew for sure that my eyes would give me away, so I pretended to fiddle with the paper-cranes.

"Why are you trying to fold all those paper-crane?"

_Because I was trying every single way I could to get intimate with you. Edward! The Gentleman scolded me._

I fidgeted nervously since I couldn't possibly just scare you away by stupidly telling you the truth. So I told you the first thing that popped into my head. Like doing those psychological tests, you know. "I was preparing a birthday gift, for…" _you_. _Edward __Cullen? __He __scolded __again._

I kept my mouth shut to stop the word, and cursed at myself inaudibly. After a second of mood preparation, I restarted, "Well, for Alice. I… got it all scheduled, one for each single day, and she would have over … 300 for her birthday..."_on __September __13__th_. _Edward __Antony __Cullen! __I __warned __you. __This __is __your __last __chance! __The __gentleman __shouted __angrily._

_I just couldn't help it please! I snapped back at him. You had no experience when it came to being obsessed with a girl._

"…in August." It surprised me that I could still recall Ali's birthday at that moment and that I still had a real fast calculation skill. I guessed the adrenaline saying was not just a mystery after all.

It was weird of you when you sucked in a deep breath, and abruptly stopped breathing at all as well for a short moment.

"Oh." You said after several seconds more than necessary.

"Do you…uh…like…her?" You asked, surprising me a lot.

I stuttered out incredulously, not expecting your question to say the least. "Well…well…uh…yes, I guess?" _Just __not __the __same __way __as __I __liked __you, __and __not __a __millionth __much, __too. _I kept a poker face, not wanting to scare the hell out of you.

"You do know that we had known each other in ages, right?" I said in addiction, didn't want her to misunderstood my feelings.

"Yeah…I guess I do." You said very quietly I almost couldn't be sure if you were talking to me or yourself.

I zeroed all my attention to the paper-crane after that, praying we wouldn't need to have that awkward conversation again and that you could easily get over it, and that you couldn't read through me by my gestures. I just never expected it to be a last for a long time.

All of a sudden, you clamped your right hand onto your mouth and dashed out of the classroom as if you were sick. I turned towards you to ask if you needed any help but you were already out of sight, clearing out of the classroom from the back door.

I sighed with frustration and ran my hand through my messy hair, a gesture I had received from my dad whenever I felt a worm of unease.

I ruined a perfect night. I was wise to it.

See, I just got the chance to touch you. And by touch I meant nothing but your hand. Then, with a curse from the deepest of hell, frightened you, fucking lied, and then you ran from me.

It wasn't until after a while when you came back. I nearly pulled all my hair out with bare hands during your absence, unsure if you were feeling okay and completely exasperated for I being fully aware I might just be the one and only reason for all these.

You were absolutely intolerable. You looked devastated, as if you'd been crying all along- your eyes were puffy red, like the way when someone stayed up out night before a lap top, your face even paler, even your shiny hair lost the usual glory.

Albeit you still looked pretty to me like you always had been, I knew you'd been through hell. I wanted to apologize, to take you in my arms, rocking you back and forth to comfort you all night. But I couldn't even do the first and easiest thing of all because you furnished none glances to me at all and walked straight to the seat aside of Rosalie, whom looked immensely concerned for your appearance, and after a few minutes when she finished hearing you out, continued to give me death glares every a few seconds.

I swore, I had never been in a more upsetting circumstance ever before.

That day, I couldn't sleep until midnight, and when unconscious finally attacked, I had an awful nightmare.

-**(~_~)**-

In the nightmare, Bella was running away from me. She wouldn't bear staying in the same room as I was. Talk. Have lunch together with the other five of us-well, basically because of me. Anything. She practically avoided any interjection with me, and went as far to ask Mrs. Moore's allowance to switch her seat, which Mrs. Moore agreed.

In no time, Jessica Stanly, the stupid gossiper, moved to her seat. She was also a brunette, but she wasn't Bella, nor would she ever be.

Worst of all, she never smiled again. Well, there were times when she faked one out, but I couldn't see the smile in her eyes while she doing so. And there were no those small wrinkles around her eyes when she really grins.

Let's just say, Bella, the real Bella, wasn't there.

Sometimes I would see her sitting in her new seat, alone, busing herself with works; or just staring out the window, lost in thoughts. It was so hard, you couldn't even imagine how, seeing her completely lost, like she was always sobbing in her heart.

But, seriously, it made no sense at all. I knew I, well, to say I liked her was kind of an understatement, maybe obsessed would be better. Why on earth would Bella treat herself like this? Or rather, to her surroundings, to me?

After the incident, our pack wasn't a pack anymore. Well, we hadn't really stuck labels on our foreheads that we were one in the first place, but, you know what I meant.

With Bella's absence, Rose and Ali quitted to stay with her, forming a smaller one; leaving Em, Jas and I alone.

The girls were all unusually quiet, and it had an enormous influence on us. You see, even Em was sort of mute. That said something.

In my dream, so many things were blurring before my eyes like everything was happening at the same time. But one thing stayed the same-Bella was staying away, from me, no matter what. It was as if she had a vow to god or something she wouldn't break.

The following morning, I woke up early five in the morning before the outside was even lightened and couldn't fall asleep after, feeling like shit. I had never really rested with any peaceful moment throughout the whole night. I felt exhausted, and extremely miserable.

Worst thing was, the dream took it place in reality. Bella circumvented me as much as she could. And Rose constantly gave me those glares whenever she laid her eyes on me.

The reality was torturing slow, though, not at all like it had been in the dream. The most terrific thing was, I could actually touch these feelings. There was so much pain, more than I could imagine. It was like cutting the connection of two very strong magnets when their positive and negative sides were attracting each other. There was nothing easy in it. None.

-**(~_~)**-

**The Next Day. After School.**

Before the daily basketball session with Em and Jas, when we were walking side by side to the court just like every other day, Em interrupted me with a series of questions with a concerned expression on his face, "Hey, bro, you know what's wrong? What happened? I mean, why those girls are all being so distant today. I'm a little bit lost here." His voice was nothing like before, either. It was pretty much only whispering.

"Yeah, I was wondering just the same. They'd been off since, what? Like yesterday night?" Jasper addicted.

Sighing, I shook my head helplessly as I replied, "Well, I had done something that _I_ was regretted of during the study hall. Though I don't really get it why Bella had been so upset."

"Wait a sec, study hall? That was when they got all so weird, wasn't it?" Jas asked.

"Damn it, Eddie! Just tell us, what happened?" Em asked impatiently.

"Okay, fine! And don't call me 'Eddie'." I dragged my hand through my messy hair, frustrated. And then I told them about Bella. During the whole time, I continued to pull at my hair relentlessly. I'm pretty sure it was like a nasty bird nests there after I finished.

They looked utterly surprised, also kind of dumbfounded as they know the truth.

"Excuse me?" Jas asked me with an I-can't-believe-you-seriously-did-that countenance. "You told her…"

"…that you liked Alice?" Em proceeded as incredulously.

"Yeah… Look, I wasn't intended to do that, okay? It was just that, I couldn't simply tell her that she was haunting me, right? Not at that specific moment. I just… I don't know. I was so confusing, and I was kind of in an intoxicated state which really didn't help. So I guess you can say that I was saying the first thing popped into my mind." I couldn't stop my rambling.

"Bro, how could you…? Have you been opening your eyes the entire time? Are you totally blind?" Em asked scoldingly, snorting vocally.

"What the hell was that suppose to mean?" I narrowed my eyes.

"That girl, she absolutely crushed on you! And you were telling her that you like someone else, whom also happened to be one of her two sis! What do you think it would bring her to?" Jas echoed.

Wait, what? "And how can you tell that? I mean, Bella's crushed on me?"

"Pfft… Everyone knows. There is serious chemistry between you two." Em said with a snort.

"Is it that obvious? And that I never found out before? It couldn't be." There was no way.

"Okay, fine, if you couldn't accept the truth. Then tell me, why would she be upset like… Wow, look who's there!" Jasper exclaimed with a bewildered tone.

Em and I snapped our heads up.

What the…?

Spotted, Bella Swan on a court, during the term of driving to the hoop. Standing next to her was no one else than Jacob Black.

That huge, disgusting captain of school team.

-**(~_~)**-

**Bella's POV**

For a whole day, I was beyond myself.

Early in the morning before the first period, I lied to Mrs. Moore that I couldn't see the blackboard clearly since I was sitting in the back of the classroom. So I asked her to switch my seat to a former place, to which she approved generously and I ended up sitting next to Rose.

For the rest of day school I couldn't really concentrate in classes. I kept dozing out even though I tried my best not to. When I really tried to read the textbook or something, coming as the closest to actual learning, I always perused the same line for an unnecessary long time without moving on or perceiving its meanings.

So I simply gave up my clueless attempts.

At the end of the last period, I made up a big decision- I would not give up on Edward Cullen. Okay, that sounded like some freakish stalker. I would keep a minor distance from him all the time, not enough to get me emotionally hurt again, and not to make me miss his company terribly, either.

Maybe he liked Alice right now. It didn't mean I won't stand a chance, right? Hopefully, he would get over her in time, and acknowledge the strong connection between us he never seemed to understand.

And the best solution? I would learn to play basketball. If I work hard enough, I could improve my skills pretty quickly so that I could practice with the boys in our class, which I most likely could play in the field as he was.

Yes, basketball was intimate. And, no, I didn't mind playing it together with Edward Cullen.

-**(~_~)**-

I ran as fast as I was able to, directly to the court right after the school bell rang to avoid encountering Edward before he saw me, and ruined the surprises I prepped for him seeing me shooting the basket with all those huge guys by my side.

It wasn't easy, and definitely wasn't something _Bella-Style_, considering the fact that I had some serious balance problem, which as I was convinced, handed down by heredity from mom. Thank god I only tripped on my own feet for multiple times on my way and was not seriously injured. I simply hurt my left palm and left a small, unnoticeable bruise there. But sports… Ah! I groaned out for the thought. The _basketball-kind-of_ sports were like death calls.

I decided not to over-think about this; otherwise I would probably back up until I reached some other continent.

Anyway, I made it to the field eventually.

Believe me when I said that Jacob Black and his pack of friends were already sweating in the gymnasium. I wondered briefly if they bolted on all four to here. I meant, what was the point of rushing. It wasn't as if a bunch of NBA players were gaming then and there and they rushed to have a free seat to watch, now was it?

I shook my head.  
><em>Focus, <em>_Bella! __You __were __here __to __look __for __your __personal __coach._

Moving forwards, I approached the boys where they were playing passionately. I reluctantly opened my mouth to speak, suddenly feeling shy as if I was intruding their games.

Oh, had I mentioned it before? I couldn't even match every people by their name yet. The only one that I was more familiar with than the other was Jacob, and it was merely because he sat pretty close to me before I switched my seat far away.

"Uh, hey guys…Jacob, can I speak with you for a second?"

My words caused a round of jeering from the team, which I pretty much expected would happen, which I made out some "Ohs" and "Ahs", to which got me blushing crimson as well.

Jacob slapped some of the guys' shoulders jokingly and told them to "shut the fuck up", then came over to me.

"Yeah? Don't take it seriously, they were just kidding, no offense."

"Don't worry. None taken." I covered up my unease, and tried my best to look that I totally worshipped him. Yeah, fucking _worshipped_.

So I might just tried to fake out my brightest smile, like the one I'd have if I got to see the original version of Jane Austen's work, or if I got a colossal Maccha Cheese Cake for birthday, or just maybe the ones I got whenever I thought of Edward. And I might or not have batted my eyelash a little.

I didn't have many experience doing all these, flirtatious stuff, but I guessed you could say that I was pretty convincing by all of Jacob's reaction.

He danced around proudly, smiling back a little more enthusiastically than I preferred.

Well, what could I say? I had to make sure to get his assent to be my trainer, and I should be glad I just sort of got his balls, right?

"…So, I wount chew asku to bee my gawch. Izat okay?" Self-conscious of what I was asking, I started to fidget and have a fit of trembled lips, a little. Well, maybe more than a little.

"Uh, excuse me?" Jacob looked at me, amused.

I breathed. _Calm __down. __It__'__s __nothing __bad. __And __you __do __this __for __him._

"I wanted to ask you to be my coach. Is that okay?" I said again, gaining more confidence. During the whole time, I lightened up my face and tried to be persuasive enough.

"You want to…play the ball?" His face rapidly turned from diverted to taken aback, eyes widening. Yeah, great, sure everyone around knows Bella Swan was no sports genius.

"Well, I know it's hard to believe and I really had rounds of hesitation on this, but I genuinely want to do something challenging and also fresh to me. So, yes."

"Uh, okay, then." Jacob agreed zealously after seeing the firmness in my eyes, bouncing downright like a ball. "Come on, let me show you then."

He walked over and fetched a ball back. "You need to learn how to dribble first. Show me how much you can make it at present."

"Okay." I reluctantly grabbed the ball and started to bounce it while walking slowly. It wasn't too tough for me since I had learned this while I was in primary school and I honestly practiced a lot for not failing in the P.E. test.

I was a stubborn kid through and through, mind you. And as a result, I had actually done an adequate job.

"Great! You are much better than I thought you'd be." Jacob praised encouragingly.

"What? You thought I would run after the ball all the way across the field?" I teased as I rolled my eyes.

"Well, sort of, I guess. Depending on how you could simply hurt yourself accidentally by walking in the campus, I thought you'd be immensely unsporting." Jacob replied, scratching his neck sheepishly.

"Watch out for yourself, then. I could also easily hurt the others just by pacing around, so this ball in my hands," I ceased temporarily, only to pat on it gently, "might be the weapon coincidently laid you down the death bed." I warned him with a mocking-sincere face.

"Ha-ha." Jacob deadpanned, "Thanks for reminding, I'd take your advice and take care of myself. And you know what? The best way of doing so is to begin my hard-ass work right now. You ready for your session number one?"

I snorted loudly, causing Jacob to laugh. "Yeah, as ready as anytime else, Coach."

That was when he started to tell me the mechanism of an easy layup.

While I was racking my wits with the goddamn basketball, Jacob quitted out cowardly and grabbed another ball to do all those fancy work without difficulty. How the hell did he finish those movement staying human was beyond my belief. And here I was, couldn't get one shoot in the basket.

Showing off bastard! I was so annoyed, and about to handmade a set of bear trap for him when they caught my eyes. Edward was there.

-**(~_~)**-

"Crap, those suckers, they could never be low-key, could they?" Jacob muttered under his breath while half of the population on the field watching over at them.

It was staggering how three modest boys had been able to become the brightest stars in everyone's eyes. What could I say, the world wasn't fair. And I wasn't going to complain about it since I myself was half of a popularity like them. It wasn't about how you are treating others, being popular; it's about how the others treat you.

Jasper got a colorful Spalding ball in his hands, with the color of blue, red and white. He swirled it with his fingers as he chatted with Emmett. They seemed so relaxing. But then I noticed Edward.

More accurately speaking, it was Edward with his sex hair. As in all messed up and I most wanted to drag my hands through it.

His eyes were locked to mine, his expression scary somehow. It was as if he was really furious with me.

I cringed inwardly._Why __was __he __so __hateful? __Did __he __really __want __me __to __move __out __of __his __way __thoroughly? __It __couldn__'__t __be. We were at least friends, right?_

He turned to see Jacob, who was standing beside me and staring him back intently with venomous expression.

Jacob snorted vocally. He shot his ball into the basket and grabbed mine to do the same thing. Then I heard some people gasping loudly.

Immediately I thought of Edward. I turned back to see him, and I was most definitely terrified by what I saw. It was as if at that exact moment, his motional part won over the rational. I could see his bluish green veins on his neck and temples, his hands in fist and his orbs darkened into pitch-black. His anger spoiling like he would explode in any second.

He stalked over to where Jacob was standing. I shut my eyes tightly when I felt the tears formed in my eyes. I was like a kid who gets caught doing something fairly forbidden.

In the back of my mind, someone shouted to me, "Just tell him already! Don't make him misunderstand you! What if he didn't give second chances?" But I just couldn't bring myself to a syllable.

While I reopened my eyes, I saw Emmett clasped his huge hands on Edward's forearm while Jasper whispered words to them. And just like that, Edward left without a word.

I broke down.

* * *

><p><strong>A.N. So... How was the chapter?<strong>

**I need your reviews~**

**I was so very glad to watchBreaking Dawn Par1**

**May**


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